WHAT IF WE BOTH WANT TO
CARRY? PLANNING YOUR
FAMILY BEYOND BABY #1

Sponsored Content | September 8, 2026

By Dr. Sue Ellen Carpenter, Bloom Fertility

For many lesbian couples, the dream of building a family begins
with a simple question: Who will carry the baby? But what happens when both partners hope to experience pregnancy—especially if you’re thinking about having more than one child?

It’s a conversation worth having before you begin fertility treatment.

Think Beyond the First Pregnancy
It’s easy to focus on getting pregnant with baby number one. But fertility decisions made today can affect your options for future children.

One partner may provide the eggs and the other may carry the pregnancy. Or you may decide that one partner will carry the first child and the other will carry a future child. Some couples may want both partners to have a genetic connection to their children, while others may place greater importance on having siblings share the same donor.

There is no single right answer. The important thing is to understand your options before treatment begins.

Consider the Donor
If you hope to have multiple children, you may want to think about whether using the same sperm donor is important to you.

Some couples want their children to share the same donor so they have a genetic connection through their donor, even if the children have different biological mothers. Others are comfortable using different donors.

If using the same donor is important to you, donor availability can become an important consideration. It may also influence how many embryos you want to create and preserve now. Sperm donors have genetic carrier screening and they are tested for their CMV immunity.  If both mothers want to use the same sperm donor, both women should have genetic carrier screening and CMV testing at the outset. This will allow you to select a donor who will be compatible with both of you.

What About Embryos?
If both partners may eventually want to carry a pregnancy, talk with your fertility specialist about whether it makes sense to create embryos using one or both partners’ eggs.

For example, a couple might create embryos from Partner A’s eggs for the first pregnancy while also considering whether to preserve embryos from Partner B for a future pregnancy. This type of planning can be especially important because fertility—and ovarian reserve—can change over time.

Give Yourselves Room to Change Your Minds
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that your family-building plan doesn’t have to be permanent.

You may think one partner will definitely carry first, only to discover that circumstances change. Your fertility testing may influence your decision. Your feelings about pregnancy may evolve. Your family may decide that one child is enough—or that you want three.

The goal isn’t to predict the future. It’s to make informed decisions today that preserve as many possibilities as possible for tomorrow.

Start With the Bigger Picture
Before beginning IVF, consider sitting down together and asking:

What do we hope our family looks like five or ten years from now?
Then bring those goals to your fertility specialist. For lesbian couples, fertility care isn’t simply about choosing a treatment. It’s about creating a family in a way that feels right for both partners—and thinking ahead can help ensure that today’s decisions support the family you’re dreaming about for years to come.

We’re here. We’re just a phone call away.

To Learn More or Book a Consult – www.hellobloomfertility.com.